Occasionally a person catches your attention, even when you only “meet” them online. This was the case with Rachael Wonderlin, Founder and CEO of Dementia by Day. When I saw her profile on LinkedIn, I was immediately intrigued by her ideas for engaging people with dementia. We connected, and I am pleased today to present an interview with Rachael.
Rachael, I see from your website Dementia By Day you are a dementia care senior living consultant and gerontologist. Tell us how you became interested in the dementia care field.
I’ve always loved working with older adults. I got a Master’s in Gerontology in 2013 and soon after began working as a dementia care director at a building. I loved that job and it only reinforced for me that I was in the right field. While at that job, I started my blog, Dementia By Day. The blog turned into my first, second and third books with Johns Hopkins University Press. The blog, of course, also turned into my company.
You developed the phrases “Embrace Their RealityTM and “Timeline ConfusionTM. Explain what those phrases mean.
Embracing Their Reality™ (ETR) means that we go to the world of the person living with dementia without worrying about the “truth” of our reality. In traditional methods of dementia care communication, you’re essentially forced to either accept that you’re “lying,” or you’re taught to redirect or distract the person living with dementia. For us, that just wasn’t enough. With ETR, you’re able to say something like, “Where do you think your mom is?” if the person asks about their late mother. You don’t need to worry if you’re lying when you’re doing what’s true for them.
Timeline Confusion™ means that a person may lose track of their timeline as dementia progresses. They may believe that a spouse is their parent, or an adult child is a neighbor. We always want to Embrace Their Reality, and we also want to understand that it is not that they don’t love us, recognize us, or know who we are. Instead, it’s that they can’t place us on their now non-linear timeline.
You caught my attention on LinkedIn talking about your “Dementia By Day” program. Tell us about that program, and how people can become certified.
Dementia By Day is our consulting company, but in early 2020, we built Dementia By Day School: our online platform for training staff and families. We call our certification program Dementia By Day Certified, and now we also have the ability to provide continuing education credits for Rec Therapists and Activity Professionals.
We realized in early 2020 that there needed to be a way to train our clients’ team members virtually without putting everyone in one room. From this concept, Dementia By Day School was born. We have engaging videos, stories, quizzes, and more.
What one piece of advice would you give to a caregiver who is caring for a loved one with dementia in their home?
You can’t be the sole caregiver. It’s just not a job for one person, no matter how “good” you are at it. Also, no amount of technology or safety tactics you implement will keep that person safe without in-person care.
You have several other endeavors, you are an author, coach, you blog, and much more. What one activity gives you the most self-satisfaction?
My biggest accomplishment is being a mom. You won’t hear me talk about that much online, just because it’s a more private part of my life, but being a mom gives me the most satisfaction. Second to that is creating something unique and then having people respond to it positively: our short film, my blog, our social media posts, my 16 Things poem, you name it.
What is the best way to reach you?
rachael@dementiabyday.com or through our Instagram, @dementiabyday
A big thank you to Rachael for sharing her knowledge with us. If you are interested in learning more visit her website or contact her for more information.
Nancy R Poland, Grace’s Message
With grace and hope, Nancy Poland provides written and spoken communication on caregiving, loss, and other valuable topics. She owns what she calls a “micro-business” named “Grace’s Message,” however she has many years of experience in the business world.
In December 2022, Nancy retired from NMDP (previously National Marrow Donor Program/Be The Match) after nearly 28 years of employment. She most recently worked as a Contracts and Compliance Manager and spent over 18 years in management as a people-leader. Nancy has a Bachelor of Arts in social work and a Master of Arts in Health and Human Services Administration. She has authored two books on caregiving, issues a quarterly newsletter, and offers both in-person and virtual presentations.
A life-long resident of the Twin Cities in Minnesota, Nancy and her husband John raised two sons and continue to contribute to their communities, travel, and work on solving British detective shows.
As a working caregiver, Nancy encountered dilemmas such as the following, with no good choices.
- The phone rings, an ambulance is bringing her mom to the hospital (again). Does Nancy stay at work for the rest of the training session, or should she race to meet the ambulance and mom at the hospital?
- Dad is in the care home, in the later stages of dementia. The only day they schedule monthly family conferences is Thursday, no later than 2:30. Should Nancy take a half day off work, leave work and come back, or dial in, and miss out on a face-to-face conversation.
Working caregivers struggle with job obligations, caring for their loved one, and often other family responsibilities. The one they are caring for may be a child with special needs, an aging relative, or an unexpectedly injured spouse. None of us know when we will be called upon to care for another, and trying to balance each facet of life can be a recipe for disaster. When a caregiver has a crisis, it affects not only the ones involved, but also the company.
Studies show caregivers often have increased absenteeism or reduced performance while at work. They often need to cut down work hours or quit. As this is especially true for caregivers of older adults with significant care needs, for this talk I will focus on ways companies and caregivers can partner together to address the ever-increasing needs of caregivers for our aging population.
Website: https://nancyrpoland.com
Connect with Nancy Poland on social media:
Twitter (now X): https://twitter.com/nancypoland
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nancyrpoland
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nancy-poland-a4632632/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nancypoland/
